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Why is it that two people become friends or lovers and others don't?
Following are some general causes that research has shown to be important.1. There may be many people "out there" who you could be good friends with or could be happily married to. They live in another city or a block away, and you never meet them.
Of course, it's not just what you say — your message — but also how you say it that's important. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message.
If you communicate in a way that's too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery.
Or, one person could be unavailable because he/she is already in a committed relationship.
Or, perhaps one or both are so busy, they don't give any priority or time to meeting others. For that reason, active searching for others and meeting many people statistically increases your odds of finding someone highly compatible to you.
Because assertiveness is based on mutual respect, it's an effective and diplomatic communication style.If your style is passive, you may seem to be shy or overly easygoing.